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| Source: www.youthvoices.net |
Love
is gradually taking away the lives of promising young men and women alike,
leaving their families behind with pain and sorrow. It is usually said that
love makes the world go round and it is literally doing just that. Concerns
have been raised over the growing number of love related deaths in our
universities. This trend is slowly taking shape in our institutions of higher
learning but it has not been brought to the public limelight because the
authorities usually hide most of these tragic incidences.
Samantha
had always of dreamt of joining the university one day. On reaching the
university Samantha met Timothy in the infamous gold rush which usually takes
the campus by storm in the beginning of every academic year. Samantha had a
boyfriend, James, whom she had left back at her neighbourhood when she was
coming to the university. They used to communicate frequently during the
beginning of the semester but as time went by the communication reduced and eventually
stopped. This is when Samantha met Timothy. James felt that Samantha was
cheating on him and he decided to make a surprise visit to Samantha’s room. He
asked for direction and he was directed to Samantha’s room. On opening the
door, he found Samantha cuddling on the bed with Timothy. A quarrel ensued
immediately and Timothy fled the room leaving Samantha alone with now raged
James not knowing that that was the last time he was seeing Samantha alive.
James stabbed Samantha and fled the scene leaving Samantha’s body in a pool of
blood. This is a story shared by many families who send their children to the
institutions of higher learning, only for them to come back in caskets. This
and other incidences like it are becoming common in within the parameters of
our universities which leaves everyone begging for answers of the big question
that lingers everyone’s mind: is it worth it?
Students, females and male alike
have killed in love related feuds. Some students decide to take away their
lives when they discover that their partners are cheating on them or have
dumped them as it happened in another university college where a male student
decided to take away his life after the estranged girlfriend dumped him for
another dude. In other rather extreme cases, some victims kill their partners,
the partner’s clandestine and finally they take away their own lives. In one
university, a second year lady poisoned a first year then went ahead to kill
herself. It said that her boyfriend dumped her during the infamous Gold Rush
and went for the first year lady. She first befriended the first year lady and
after developing trust she struck-poisoned her food. We have lost approximately
over ten students in recent times on the cases that I know of not to mention
others that went undetected. One of the guidance counselors who sought
anonymity due to the confidential nature of the job said that she has been
receiving many ‘patients’ who come seeking counseling. Closer home, a female attacked her boyfriend causing minor injuries.
Counselors say that the youth today
rush into getting ‘married’ without understanding the nuts and bolts of
marriage. They say it goes beyond love. Many people claim to love their
partners but they fail to understand their partner’s feelings, personality and
needs. This often leads to conflict when one of the partners fails to fulfill
the other partner’s expectation. For instance, there are partners who are
overly possessive and cannot let go their partner off their sight. These
individuals will not feel loved or may feel that their partner is cheating on
them if they go out of sight without ‘approval’. There are partners who need
autonomy despite the fact that they are in a relationship and if they can’t get
the autonomy they will simply walk out. Some people get ‘married’ before
exploring what the world has to offer and when they discover that the world has
so much to offer, they begin to cheat on their partners. Others decide to cheat
on their partners after getting bored with them courtesy of ‘early marriage’.
There are those who get into relationship not out of love but for the love of
the money. They therefore engage in multiple relationships to meet their
financial needs oblivious of dangers of contracting HIV and other STI’s. These
people exploit their partners financially and when the partner discovers that
he/she is being used, it may turn out to be unhappy ending.
Counselors
advocate for understanding each other completely before engaging in a serious
relationship to avoid frequent conflicts that may result to death. Again people
should try to remain with one partner. Those who have relationship problems
should seek guidance immediately before taking a decision that they live to
regret for the rest of their lives. Before taking your own life or someone
else’s life think about the investment that both the government and your
parents have invested in you/them since you/they were born. Killing yourself or
partner will never solve the problem. All said and done, it all trickles and
comes down to wisdom, spirituality, trust and faithfulness.
