Thursday, 22 November 2012

Alarm as Love Claim Lives in Our Universities


Love is gradually taking away the lives of promising young men and women alike, leaving their families behind with pain and sorrow. It is usually said that love makes the world go round and it is literally doing just that. Concerns have been raised over the growing number of love related deaths in our universities. This trend is slowly taking shape in our institutions of higher learning but it has not been brought to the public limelight because the authorities usually hide most of these tragic incidences.
            Samantha had always of dreamt of joining the university one day. On reaching the university Samantha met Timothy in the infamous gold rush which usually takes the campus by storm in the beginning of every academic year. Samantha had a boyfriend, James, whom she had left back at her neighbourhood when she was coming to the university. They used to communicate frequently during the beginning of the semester but as time went by the communication reduced and eventually stopped. This is when Samantha met Timothy. James felt that Samantha was cheating on him and he decided to make a surprise visit to Samantha’s room. He asked for direction and he was directed to Samantha’s room. On opening the door, he found Samantha cuddling on the bed with Timothy. A quarrel ensued immediately and Timothy fled the room leaving Samantha alone with now raged James not knowing that that was the last time he was seeing Samantha alive. James stabbed Samantha and fled the scene leaving Samantha’s body in a pool of blood. This is a story shared by many families who send their children to the institutions of higher learning, only for them to come back in caskets. This and other incidences like it are becoming common in within the parameters of our universities which leaves everyone begging for answers of the big question that lingers everyone’s mind: is it worth it?
            Students, females and male alike have killed in love related feuds. Some students decide to take away their lives when they discover that their partners are cheating on them or have dumped them as it happened in another university college where a male student decided to take away his life after the estranged girlfriend dumped him for another dude. In other rather extreme cases, some victims kill their partners, the partner’s clandestine and finally they take away their own lives. In one university, a second year lady poisoned a first year then went ahead to kill herself. It said that her boyfriend dumped her during the infamous Gold Rush and went for the first year lady. She first befriended the first year lady and after developing trust she struck-poisoned her food. We have lost approximately over ten students in recent times on the cases that I know of not to mention others that went undetected. One of the guidance counselors who sought anonymity due to the confidential nature of the job said that she has been receiving many ‘patients’ who come seeking counseling. Closer home, a female attacked her boyfriend causing minor injuries.
            Counselors say that the youth today rush into getting ‘married’ without understanding the nuts and bolts of marriage. They say it goes beyond love. Many people claim to love their partners but they fail to understand their partner’s feelings, personality and needs. This often leads to conflict when one of the partners fails to fulfill the other partner’s expectation. For instance, there are partners who are overly possessive and cannot let go their partner off their sight. These individuals will not feel loved or may feel that their partner is cheating on them if they go out of sight without ‘approval’. There are partners who need autonomy despite the fact that they are in a relationship and if they can’t get the autonomy they will simply walk out. Some people get ‘married’ before exploring what the world has to offer and when they discover that the world has so much to offer, they begin to cheat on their partners. Others decide to cheat on their partners after getting bored with them courtesy of ‘early marriage’. There are those who get into relationship not out of love but for the love of the money. They therefore engage in multiple relationships to meet their financial needs oblivious of dangers of contracting HIV and other STI’s. These people exploit their partners financially and when the partner discovers that he/she is being used, it may turn out to be unhappy ending.
Counselors advocate for understanding each other completely before engaging in a serious relationship to avoid frequent conflicts that may result to death. Again people should try to remain with one partner. Those who have relationship problems should seek guidance immediately before taking a decision that they live to regret for the rest of their lives. Before taking your own life or someone else’s life think about the investment that both the government and your parents have invested in you/them since you/they were born. Killing yourself or partner will never solve the problem. All said and done, it all trickles and comes down to wisdom, spirituality, trust and faithfulness.