Tuesday 26 May 2015

KINYOZI, MEN’S GOSSIP CENTRES

To men, Kinyozi (Barbershop) is what a Salon is to women. Kinyozi’s are the next gossip centres for men away from the bar. For a long time, gossip has been known as women affair. However, what many don’t know is that men do engage in acts of gossip from time to time.

Unlike, women who engross in vitriol and malicious chatter about their friends & neighbours, men’s gossip is largely limited to women, alcohol and politics. There is no badmouthing and backstabbing whatsoever more so against other men. Otherwise, there is honour in the league of men.
That said, a fortnight ago, I was at my preferred barbershop in hood. You see, every Kinyozi in any neighbourhood will always have those boys from the neck of the hood hanging around, wishing away time.

On this fateful day, one of the boys shared a rather shocking allegations regarding Churchill Show. The lad claimed that there is a lot of corruption going on during auditioning of the stand-up comedians seeking to perform in the show. Those auditioning were required to pay up to 60% of the pay they receive after performance. He went ahead to say that some who don’t know the practice have been trying to audition but with little success. If these allegations are true then it is very unfortunate.

While at it, I would say that stand-up comedy in Kenya has overplayed tribal jokes and stretched it too far. To this end, shows like Churchil Live have lost mature audience. Tribal jokes were once rib cracking but not anymore as we have come to be used to it. Everyday, I meet people from different tribes with their typical behaviours. So, it won’t be logical for me to pay exaggerated ticket costs to watch something that I can get to experience everyday.


That said, producers of stand-up comedy should take a step back and reinvent comedy if they are still interested in making money out of it. Otherwise, from where I sit, it’s heading to oblivion. 

DEADBEAT ENGINEERS: KENYAN ENGINEERS NEED TO UP THEIR GAME

As a first year who has just been admitted to college you get to experience so many things. For me, the most striking experience was my encounter with those who had been admitted to pursue the so called ‘prestigious courses’.  The definition of prestigious courses was varied with some considering technical aspects of the course while others paying attention to the salary scales of the said profession. Many claimed to be doing ‘technical’ courses just because the curriculum had some complex mathematics here and there.

Anyway, those claiming to be pursuing these ‘prestigious courses’ had a ‘better than you’ attitude towards us those who took humanity based courses. According to them, they thought we were not brilliant enough to pursue those courses oblivious of the fact that some had surpassed the cut off points but they were maintaining their cool. Maybe they were right. But, it could be that we were not looking to stress ourselves with finding values of x and y for 5 years.


Surprisingly, those who took Business Management and Economics also considered themselves superior. Someone shoot me. I have always wondered what was so special about the course that granted some of the candidates their bragging rights. In fact, with the increasing exam cheating in the KCSE, it’s difficult to judge the cognitive competence of students basing on the KCSE grades. To unmask them, give them aptitude tests.  Real bright students will stand out. It’s only after pursuing the prestigious courses and ending up jobless after graduation just like the rest of us did they realize their nothing prestigious in their courses- anyway. 

But I digress.

Of those who took the ‘prestigious courses’ there was no group that had a lot of arrogance than those who took Engineering. When conversing with some of them, they would from time to time remind the gathering mostly taking ‘lesser courses’ that they were engineers in the making. Little did they know that they would join us in our humanity faculties after being discontinued for scoring cumulative fails in their first year of study. I always told them in Engineering, there is no trying; it’s either you know or you don’t know unlike in humanity were we are allowed to argue our case. There is no definite answer to problems.

Personally, I hold Engineers in high esteem because I believe they are brilliant and they are our key to a prosperous nation. Engineering has been advocated as the key driver of an industrial economy that can lead a country such as Kenya to a middle income status. Sadly, here in Kenya we are not faring well as we should.

Today, I asked a friend of mine, a Computer Engineer, what he has invented or innovated since completing college approximately 2 years ago. He gave me a blank look. I probed him further perhaps if he is working on some kind of a project but still nada. That right there is our problem. We have people enrolling to engineering for the sake of the tag ‘Eng’ and the huge salaries associated with the course. Consequently, we have a bunch of engineering graduates who lack vision as they are not passionate about Engineering.  All engineering contracts are going to the Chinese and Japanese yet we have engineers graduating from our institutions. Those who are awarded contracts do substandard jobs.

While those in Electrical and Electronic Engineering are doing comparatively well, those in Civil, Mechanical, and Structural Engineering are simply deadbeat. If MPESA was invented in here Kenya, I believe we have great potential and as a way to mitigate the perennial problem of unemployment, we need the engineers to jam start the industrial revolution in Kenya. I would like to challenge all Kenyan engineers to leverage on their brilliance and knowledge to lead Kenya to an industrial economy.  As an Engineer, what have you invented or innovated? Food for thought.


Wednesday 6 May 2015

WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS….NO THANK YOU!

Sharon Mundia
Image: www.thisisess.com 
I can bet that I am not the only one who hadn’t heard about Sharon Mundia also known as @ThisIsEss in the twitter space, a renowned fashion blogger, apparently.  She took the internet by storm a couple of days ago when she broke the news of her engagement to the world. @ThisIsEss is a sight to behold but then again it depends on your scale of beauty.

Anyways, you might be wondering why it caused a fuss resulting in the trend #PoleKwaMwirigi. Of course, she broke the heart of Team Mafisi but not so much like a lad named Mwarigi who had an overwhelming crush on her. @ThisIsEss decided to tell one Mwarigi that they can still be friends. Ha!

Dear ladies, a word of advice: don’t tell that man who is after your loving heart that you can be friends when you have declined to approve his bid for whatever reason.  A man knows what is best for him. When he decides to pursue you, he has objectives. If he only wants to be your friend, he will do just that. If he wants you guys to be lovers then that will be the primary objective and maybe, just maybe, the secondary objective is tipping the cookie jar. Nobody wants to lose it all. Heey!

Telling somebody who is love with you but cannot get you whatsoever to be still your friend is ill advised. I know you might think that you are being thoughtful and that you are giving at least something, hand in friendship, instead of nothing at all. In saying that, you are just hurting him more and the impression he gets is that he’s only good enough for just being a friend. Its either he has you (fully) or not.

There are those who accept rejection friendship whole heartedly. That who accepts to be your friend even after turning down his advances could mean three things: One, he is still hoping to win you by hanging around. What he doesn’t realize is that he is sealing his fate in the dreaded friend zone. Secondly, he was not serious in his bid and probably he wanted only sleep with you. That and nothing more. He will therefore stay behind still working to tip the cookie jar. Lastly, he could be in denial and knowing that he can still talk to you freely makes him feel better.


Dear ladies, now you. Don’t tell that chap that you can still be friends. You are not helping the situation.